Why the hell am I so dog-fuckingly stupid? I couldn’t make a decent decision if my life depended on it and I still, still keep deluding myself with the idea that everything is going to be okay, if I can just hold on a little while longer, everything will get sorted out and when the dust has all settled, I’ll come out at least marginally on top.

If there is anything the last couple of years have taught me, it’s that this philosophy is a huge, steaming pile of bullshit. I am a loser and I will always be a fucking loser, and every time I try to get ahead, I will always come in second.

Why the fuck do I bother?

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